Friday, July 30, 2010

A weird thing:

Now as I have mentioned before, I do not have a problem with walking through poop barefoot. So here is the strange thing, I love my dogs but I hate having them lick my face. Now if you really want to know why, now are you ready for this? It is because they lick themselves, well more because of where they lick themselves. When I see a person letting a dog slobber all over their face all I can think is Oh my god that dog licked it's crotch and butt with the same tongue it is slobbering all over your face with. And the very idea of a dog washing my face with the same "washcloth" it used on it's crotch and butt just totally grosses me out. But I do not have a problem with walking in poop barefoot, no problem in the world with something that came out of an animals butt squishing up through my toes, go figure huh? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am not licking my toes, where as I may end up licking my lips after the dog did.....

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Kids say the funniest things:

So my daughter is sitting down doing her own thing. My husband asked her something and she said " daddy you know I am fixing my panties". And of course when we looked at her she did appear to be doing such a thing. Just kind of funny the things that kids blurt out.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

It's a love hate relationship:

I swear that my kids must be the craziest creatures on earth. When they are home together they love to hate each other. They can't get along for 5 minutes without tearing into each other about something. And the knit picking is a never ending source of enjoyment for them that brings them hours of pleasure. Now let one of them go stay at their Grandmother's for a few days and they miss that sibling like crazy. I guess absence really does make the heart grow fonder, only problem is it only lasts until they are back together. It only takes 5 minutes of them being back in the same house together and the cycle starts all over again.

Monday, July 26, 2010

They are all named not me:

Like most parents when I was having my children I picked a name for each child. Of course I carefully selected each name, names I liked. Now in most cases parents will give each child a different name because obviously there would be a lot of confusion if they didn't. I truly believed I gave each child a different name and I am sure their birth records reflect this, but I have since come to learn that each one of my children are named " Not Me". I know this because every time I ask "who made this mess" I hear four voices say "Not Me". So be very careful when you select the names for your children, they may not always be what they appear. I think I will go double check those birth records now....

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Running a restaurant:

Sometimes at meal time I feel like I am running a restaurant. Out of my four kids my oldest son is the only one that will eat vegetables and never complains about what I have fixed, he is just happy to have something to dig his fork in to. The others on the other hand don't like anything unless of course it is tacos, pizza or McDonald's. Meat, potatoes and vegetables and the only thing they want is the meat, except my daughter who would rather have just the potato. Most nights they would rather eat a bowl of cereal. Now I don't really mind this, I am just glad they are eating something and filling up there bellies, but somehow after they eat cereal for supper every night it is my fault when there is none of their favorite kind left for breakfast. Now back to the only liking part of the many families out there we need to try to stretch things and make them go further. So in an attempt to stretch the burger a little further I made hamburger helper, to which my 9 year old son once told me " I like the hamburger but not the helper".

Friday, July 23, 2010

The warm wet kiss:

So I fell asleep on the couch. Crazy thing is I slept quite well, it was the best nights sleep I had in over a week. I am suddenly awakened by something warm rubbing along my shoulder and neck. A warm wet kiss all over my face. It was only one night on the couch, did my husband really miss me that much? No probably not, since it was our puppy Bruiser that was loving me ya thought this was going to be a juicy post huh? Maybe not very juicy but it was an exceptionally wet kiss...yuck.....

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Hmmm why is it better?

Okay, now I just don't get it. My black lab Xena is going on eight years old. Some times I swear she must be crazy. A nice big bowl of food and a big bowl of fresh water. And yet she chooses to help herself to the garbage and take a big drink out of the toilet bowl..... My puppy Bruiser who also has a nice fresh bowl of food and water, chooses to go outside and dig in the manure pile and drink out of mud puddles. Am I missing something?.........

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My thought for the day:

Have you ever wondered how some things in the world got figured out? I do, and as I collect the eggs I sometimes I have to wonder.....The chicken came into the world, well as a chicken I suppose. But like anything else in the world it was at some point something that was new and undiscovered. At some point some one "discovered" the chicken just like every thing else was discovered. On some occasion someone obviously tried eating the chicken and discovered a new food source. Now although some people don't realize it, I am sure that most people know that an egg comes out of a chickens butt....yup thats comes out the same hole it poops out what I wonder about is the egg.....someone discovered the chicken, saw this big hard shelled thing come out of it's butt.....and decided to eat I am not saying this is a bad discovery by any means....I just can't imagine why anyone would have thought to eat something they saw come out of a chickens butt......of course there is a first time for everything.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Placing blame where it doesn't belong:

I had a duck egg that starting incubating after a chicken layed eggs beside the duck egg and started setting on them. Well this particuliar duck egg was a Muscovy egg that would need to incubate for 35 days in comparison to the chickens eggs only taking 21 days. I had to remove the duck egg so the chicken would not abandon it after her own eggs hatched. So I put it in my incubator along with some chicken eggs. Well this sweet little duckling hatched out. I put it in a box with a light all by it's lonely little self while I waited for chicks to hatch. As the chicks started hatching I added them to the box. Now all the eggs were not due to hatch at the same time, so every couple of days I had more chicks to add to the box. One day my husband came home from work and happened to notice all of the chicks suddenly showing up in the box, and said " holy crap where did all of the chicks come from?" Now I probably should have owned up to it and just said " those are from the eggs I put in the incubator" but instead in a very sweet, child like voice I looked up at him and said " the duckling was lonely and wished for friends". Yup...I blamed those thirty some odd chicks in the box on that poor, sweet, innocent little of course that wasn't right......and I am pretty sure I got caught in a lie......

Monday, July 19, 2010

Using things to your advantedge:

Most of us have things that we can use to our advantedge in one form or another. Take myself for example. I am a very independent person. If I can get something done without waiting for my husband to get home and help me, then I do it. Now I am not saying that it is always the smartest idea because I move things that I really should wait to have help with, or really have to bust my butt in order to get the task done on my own, but that is the way I am. Now some people would say that works to my husbands advantedge because he doesn't have to help with that task. Sometimes we find things that work to our advantedge and we can use them over and over again. A couple of years ago when I wanted to get my first ducks I found something that works for me. Some friends of ours were giving away a couple of ducks, to which I tried to convince my husband we should take. His response was "what do you need ducks for and where are you going to put them?" My response was " because I like them and you can build them a cute little house to live in" (all of this with a smile of course and the honey dripping off my lips). Well he procrastinated about that duck house. I think he thought that if he didn't build it I would forget about getting ducks. Well finally I offered to get out the skill saw and build a house myself. It did not take long for my husband to start making plans and building the duck house. You should know I am NOT ALLOWED to use the power tools.....this was told to me by my husband in no uncertain terms....they are OFF LIMITS. Which leads us back up to what I said above. I am very independent and don't wait for my husband to help me. Now I think that because my husband knows me so well he was afraid I really would try to build that duck house myself. So I learned that I can get my husband to build me all of the animal houses I want if I offer to get out the skill saw and build it myself......that works to my advantedge. And who would have thought that my husband not wanting me to cut my fingers off would be so beneficial to me.....

Sunday, July 18, 2010

What it takes to get your kids to hate you:

When I was pregnant I assumed that after all that weight gain, puking and bloating that my kids would realize I must love them if I went though all that for them.....maybe that comes when they get older...... So then I thought with all the poopy diapers I changed, all the sleepless nights, and all that goes into taking care of a baby they would know how much I love them. Maybe that comes when they get older......I have realized that no matter how much weight you gained, how bloated you were, how many sleepless nights you went through and how many poopy diapers you changed... it will not make a difference....eventually the day will come when your kids scream at you...I HATE YOU!!....

Our oldest son who is now almost sixteen years old was the first to hate us, well he hated my husband actually. He was just a little tyke when he screamed "I hate you daddy!!!". To which my husband replied "thats okay Steven, I still love you". Well this just made my son even more mad. Although he only stayed mad for a matter of a few more seconds and then went up to my husband with a big hug and said "I love you too daddy". It was much simpler when they were little. When they become teenagers they hate you for more reasons and they hate you more often. Now the oldest doesn't ever tell us he hates us any more, but our fourteen year old is a different story. He hates us almost every day. Today the only thing it took for me to be hated was to say no when he asked if he could ride his bike to the store. Now he of course couldn't understand my concern over him riding his bike four miles in 90 degree heat.....Now it may totally shock you the first time you hear those dreadful words "I hate you" come rolling out of your childs mouth with such ease, but don't panic they usually only hate you for a few minutes. Children usually hate you when you say no to something, and usually you are saying no to that something beacause you have their best interest at heart. So look at it this way....if your child hates you then you must be doing something right....

Saturday, July 17, 2010

A Chicken Horror Movie:

So today I am out doing chores. My chickens free range the yard and do not have a problem with swarming my feet every time I go outside. This of course may be partly my fault because of all the goodies they get. Now anyone who has raised chickens knows that chickens are happy to scratch all day looking for bugs and other goodies to eat. They are also very fond of treats like vegetable scraps etc. and will eat whatever you bring them like they have not seen food that day. My chickens know that a bucket in my hand also means there is something in that bucket, whether it is for them or not. Today my chickens realized I was out there at feeding time with a bucket and completely swarmed me, I was surrounded by chickens. I thought if some one were to make a horror movie about chickens it would look something like what was going on in my backyard. Hmmm....that might be something to think about. Now of course they didn't really attack me or anything, they just swarmed my feet clucking up a storm and begging for the contents of the bucket. Maybe with some special effects I could make the chickens in the movie appear a bit more vicious.

Friday, July 16, 2010

My son's Birthday

So today my son turns 14 years old. It sure does not seem that long ago that we brought him home from the hospital, where due to tummy issues he spent the whole first year of his life screaming at me. Maybe it doesn't seem like that long ago because he is still screaming at me. But seriously time sure does fly by!!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Pee on the seat:

Now I know I am not the only one that has ever dealt with this issue. You go into

the bathroom and sit on the toilet only to be greated with a wet seat against your butt. This was a big issue in our house. We have finally reached the point where all three boys either lift the seat or have better aim, I am not sure which. Well the last couple of days when using the toilet I have suddenly been being greated with the wet seat again. I thought we were slipping backwards, I thought I was going to have to start giving lectures again about lifting the seat, until I went into the bathroom to discover a long tail and furry butt perched on the seat. Now if only I can get the kitten to wipe her paws when she decides to play in the water in the toilet bowl.......

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Why do I call myself a redneck?

Well it is quite simple really. A lot of women like to dress in nice clothes, have lots of shoes, going to the hair dresser for a new do and getting their nails done at the nail salon. Then you have me.....I like things simple. I do my nails at home, throw my hair up in a pony tail, put on the dirty clothes I wore yesterday and call it good. I mean really... I am only going out to feed the animals. When I feed the pigs I am instantly covered in mud, sour milk and pig far as shoes go, I really don't have much use for them. Bare foot is the way to go if you ask me, when I do need shoes it is usually my husbands muck boots or a pair of ladies logger boots.....not very girlie.....and to add to my redneck status I walk through poop barefoot....I like my animals better than most people. Now there is a very good reason for this. With people it seems you can never please them no matter how hard you try. What makes one person happy completely irritates someone else. With animals on the other hand it doesn't take much to make them happy. A warm dry place to sleep and food and water in their bowls everyday and everyone is happy day in and day out.